Flashbacks.

Heh, it's been awhile hasn't it. I honestly don't know what to think of my life at the moment. It's sad and pathetic, how I constantly keep looking back at my life while I was in secondary school. What's worse is that it's you that I'm thinking about. This is one of those things that I really really wish I could go back in time and change. 

I can't even remember the last time we saw each other. And all I do now, is wonder how much different things could or would be if i did things differently. I hate the fact that I was so afraid of jeopardising our friendship. I mean, how different would the outcome have been if i failed? As compared to now. Failing back then would be better. At the very least I know that I've tried. But no, all along, I've stood by the sidelines. Watching and waiting. Hoping that someday I would get my chance. How naive and stupid of me.

At this point of time, there's nothing else I can do anymore. Other than to continue waiting hopelessly. I hope I'm not making the wrong choice doing this. And I really hope you mean what you told me. That you're still here. Please let this wait be as short and as painless as possible. 

There's not much more that I should say I guess. Just hope that all is well for you. As long as you're happy right? That's all I can ask for.

난 기다릴게. 너무너무 보고싶어. 그리고 난 너를 너무 좋아해 E씨. 

It must've been forever since i last posted huh. Honestly never expected myself to post here again. But I'm doing so to write down how i feel. And since this blog is pretty much dead, i doubt anyone would see this either. 

Life just seems to get more and more depressing for me. Things just never seem to get better and I'm always the cause for something bad. Even when i do absolutely nothing wrong, I'm at fault. So then, what am i supposed to do? I will start studying harder. I want to be able to be successful, show them that i can live by myself. Then they'll know that they've been wrong this entire time. I'm perfectly fine by myself, and i really want to move to another country and hopefully never see the both of you again. Time and time again, the thought of suicide always lingers at the back of my head. This whole time, that I've been alive, not once did i feel any form of love from anyone. Not a single person. But that's fine.

You dare claim that you're close to me last time? Please stop it with the bullshit. You know absolutely nothing about me. You act like a know-it-all. Can't stand people like you. 

I can't always blame the things in my surroundings. It's something i brought unto myself. I admit, I'm not the ideal son anyone would want. I can see that for myself. I'm not smart, good looking or have a good character for that matter. I messed up, big time. I wish I could change, if only it would be that easy. But i just cant seem to do that. The fire in my heart seems to always die out a little too fast. That's why i can never accomplish anything. I don't know what to do about myself. But i suppose my indulgence in drama has affected my mood as well. I pray that I'll have a stronger will and more discipline. When school starts, I need to stop. Get my life on track and work to be better. I wish for time to fly. But at the same time i wish for it not to as well. 

Bored..and Losing Everything..

hey guys. damn man.. feel like shit all the time. esp today. i suck at alot of stuff. wait, actually i suck at everythin now.i cant play basketball as well as before. my freakin knee hurts like shit. i cant focus in studies and i feel screwed. lol. but at least i hav a great friend who was willing to stay with me till like 7.40++ in school just to train. love you bro:) but other than that. i suck.
i dunno why..but i feel like certain ppl are making use of me..i just wish i can hav a wish now...just want everything back to normal. but yeah, whatever. i just wanna sleep and play ball the rest of my life. but this time im gonna fight till i get what i want. haha see ya guys. im bored. like really. wanna sleep but yet dun wanna sleep.

For A Friend.

hey guys:) today i aint gonna post so long. haha. guess what. im goin to L.A. tmr :P gonna do my best to brush up my skills and all.
well, the only reason why im posting is cos of my friend:) she'll probably be the first to read it though. haha. well, YOU HAPPY THAT I POSTED LE MARHH? :D haha. i gotta chill. anyway. yeah. *you better be happy :) * haha. goodbye ppl:) peace out /\

Goodbye..Sigh..

hey guys..i just came back from thailand..i dunno how to descirbe it..it rocked and sucked that i had to leave..all i know is that i came back heart broken..i hope that i can go there again soon..i hope time flies while i sleep..or wadever. there's just someone i wanna see again. i'll always remember you..i just hope you'll still be there the next time i go:) i'll hope and believe. just stay there okay. i'll come soon enough:) goodbye:(

Im Sorry For The Things That I've Done..

hello guys, haven really been myself lately. thanks to exams. i feel like dying. well, all i wanna do is apologise to someone that i really care for. i just happened to fall asleep. i was really tired. but nvm now.it lke 1 plus and im waiting for any chance that you'll wake up. why am i such an idiot all the time?sigh.. i just wanna be normal for abit. bye. iloveyou.

What Makes Things Possible Is You, Not Luck..

hey guys..back again..after soso long. well. sorry): didnt feel like posting leh. haha(: forgive me. anyway, holidays are abt to end..dunno whether to feel happy or sad. so dumb. haha. good thing is, tmr's the friendly match, there'll be a whole new bunch of sec 1 comin in and the west zone competition is in jan!! and so is taekwondo grading): haha.
next year sec 1 better becareful..why? cos i gonna drag their butts into basketball. but if their reluctant then sigh..but hope got more ppl join lorhh. cos now c division only hav 5-6 ppl..dai long,  jeremy, qi han, junqiang, dickson and me. haha. God bless... anyway, im gonna stop here. sorry if i take too long to post again. as usual. guess i'll see you guys around(: